People with herpes should wear stickers.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
