How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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