The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
3 2 1 whiskey
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
