your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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