guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
His hands were made for my vagina.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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