you would pick up someone in the library
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
