What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
