isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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