just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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