nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Are we still banned from the library?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
