he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
