in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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