Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
