i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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