i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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