There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize