guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
