You work out of a Hotel?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
