all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
