I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
