watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Four minutes until I can fart!
you win again, gameday.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize