Sry I called you an 8
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize