My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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