you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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