i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
