u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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