she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
