At least make sure they are 18
Why
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
