dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
