you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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