I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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