He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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