When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize