that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
