What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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