Sry I called you an 8
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
