would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize