He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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