So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The adults are the big ones right?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
