fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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