It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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