shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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