she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
