She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
this hospital has no fireball
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize