Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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