the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
