K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
