Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
