He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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