I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
