mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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