worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
