dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
