Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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