do herpes really smell.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
