I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
