she woke up with a sticky ear
just tell him i said nine months
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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