fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
