it wasn't lemon gatorade
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
