She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
