i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
