we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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