I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
