My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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