I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
