I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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