marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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