I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
