it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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