We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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