we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
