Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
