the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
