It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
