he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
