Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
In America we eat man semen.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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