I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Reggie can tackle my bush.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
