I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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