when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
