Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
