Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
