We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You made out with two different species that night
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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