capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
