Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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